Adopt-A-Hobbit: Rachel's new plan to promote Hobbit Awareness...

So yesterday found me not much better, but ok.

I talked to Shani Terragin of Moshava. She said that my background of learning probably isn't enough for Moshava this summer. Then again, if there were other people on a lower level they could have 2 tracks. She did think I should be learning this summer, and she promised me she would make sure I'd be learning.

I don't know whether or not to believe her, because I don't know how much control she has. She knows people at other programs, for sure, but who is to say that those programs would accept me, either?

So my summer is in limbo. I really don't think RI is a sane option for me, unless I could live with one of the Providence families. It would be a learning experience, since someday I'd like to raise my own frum family.

Anyone want to adopt a Hobbit? I'd make you lots of scarves, kippot, and deli roll.

Anger

So Kate has talked to me a few times about assertiveness. She thinks I'm not assertive enough, and somewhere within me I have anger and I'm bottling it up, or expressing it in ways I don't see.

Honestly, until this past week, I never felt anger. I was upset and hurt, but not angry.

So there was the dream I mentioned to some about me being angry and breaking through walls. It felt really good.

Finally, I see all the anger in me.

This morning I expressed it to some extent in davening. For the first time in weeks I made myself go to services, all the while thinking how much I hated G-d, didn't want to praise Him [which a lot of davening is, so I was still saying the words], or denied His existence. It felt really good.

Then I gave my d'var halacha. On Yisodei HaTorah, the fundamental Jewish beliefs. The First belief is that G-d exists, and brought us into being. The second belief is that existence exists, and even if it didn't exist, G-d would still exist. His existence is truer than we could ever understand ours to be. G-d does not need us to exist....

Oh the irony.

Ok. Maybe I'm a kofer, but at least I can help other people believe in G-d and perform mitzvot.

So then I ran to the gym, with a lot more energy than I usually have. And I forgot my penncard, and for sure didn't have my driver's license, so I ran back, still full of energy.

I did a little bit of the Karate I remember in my room. I realize that a punching bag would be really nice right now, or someone holding one of those shields that you can kick into. We have one at home, so next break Jon could hold it for me. But I don't know what I'll do until then. If I could find an all-girls class I'd join. The problem with co-ed is all the contact, which wouldn't really jive well with my being shomer nagiah. [Yes, a koferet who still is shomer nagiah. What are the odds of that.]

I feel better now, though. I should go to the gym/not go but run or whatever more often.

I actually did work!!!

Looks like the lj ban is lifted. whee!

 

( Rachel's fun with Talmud )

so I'm not quite done yet. I have yet to make up the "assignment." I'm debating on whether or not to include the Rashi. I could make it "extra credit" but it means me doing more work. I like the rashi we did, but it isn't all typed out on my comp. :-p

More fun with talmud

This ended up being the assignment. Poor hypothetical kids.

( actually finished!!! )