of course no one is up

Gah. I'm on the top of page 2 [single spaced] of my book review. I'm writig about Chava Weissler's Voices of the Matriarchs for Jewish Folklore. Oh Dan Ben-Amos. If you only knew the pain you cause. I am going to get no sleep tonight [or maybe I'll give up and wake up early tomorrow]. My back hurts. I'm tired. I'm afraid to have more caffiene [it started a panic attack when I had chai tea and chocolate {sweet, delicious, ghiradelli chocolate}]. I'm lonely. I'm in pain. I need a hug. I need a way to finish this stupid paper. I'm distracted.

Oh if only Penn people were up. If only I could call you. I need a human voice. Oh why, why are you all sleeping?

it's 3am. fuck. ths is so not good.

**when I finish this, you'll have a real update. I promise.**

there ain't enough chocolate in the world for this essay

You'd think I'd have the intelligence to use a better method of caffination. I could make tea. Or coffee. Or hot chocolate [there's the kind that has 25 calories. if you add milk, it's bearable]. But no. For tonight's paper-a thon, Rachel "The Yellow Hobbit" Adler will be relying on [well you can read the title, so it's no surprise]- CHOCOLATE!!!! **Cheers from the audience. hi audience. wanna write my paper?**

People wonder where the freshman [or sophomore] 15 comes from. I'll tell you. It comes from all-nighters. [not that I gained 15 pounds freshman year, Baruch Hashem, or this year.] Caramel Javalanches, smoothies, and now beautiful chocolate [i'm on to channukah gelt cause I feel like I should save the ghiradelli. It's for everyone]. This can't be good for me.

I'm actually wide awake, scarily enough. [maybe the gelt will just sit on my bed. oh bed. why are you so close? you taunt me so. I wish I could lie in your warm {or freezing} sheets.] I just had to get back into the swing of all-nightery things. I haven't done this in a while. Usually I go to bed by now, and wake up and finish my paper after minyan. Shlomo can't read it until tomorrow afternoon or something anyways. So why stay up? am I being productive? of course not. But if I go to sleep now, tomorrow I'll feel too sick to get anything accomplished. At least now I have adrenaline. Yes. This isn't panic, this is the good healthy adrenaline rush that I get when I pull an all-nighter like this one. I had forgotten how that felt. It's actually quite invigorating. You should try it sometime. [If you don't have a paper, you can surely write one of mine.]

So I'm not tired now, on the plus side, just in pain and freezing. I suppose I could put on a sweatshirt. Or my nice warm pajamas. NO! Don't give in! Bad Rachel! Pajamas will make you sleepy, as will taking out your contacts and putting on glasses.

I need a theme song. "Nagiah. I once met a girl but- Nagiah" yeah. that's a fun one though I only know one line of it. and it has nothing to do with me writing my paper. I'm shomer even when I'm not procrastinating work. If such a time exists.

more?

page 4 is done. page 5 is on the horizon. i think after i finish takling about this chapter i'll summarize the rest. surely he doesn't want me to write 2 pages on each chapter...then i can talk about weissler's methods of analysis, contributions to the field, etc. he probably forgot what he told us. i don't think i need to cover every detail, right?

i'll do another in-depth discussion of the kabbalistic candle-lighting chapter, and maybe leah horowitz's tkhine of the matriarchs they're both interesting, and i want to talk about them, but i don't know hw long the adrenaline will last...and i will run out of space, unless i 1.8 space it or something. that's what Ari Levine did on his paper.

but i don't want to write a 15 page paper, even if it's a good 15 page paper. poor shlomo. you'll have to read this. i'll apologize profusely [or as my mom says "profoundly"] when i e-mail it to you. that should make up for it, right? maybe i'll give him chocolate when i get back. i don't know if he likes chocolate. chocolate is a girl thing.

ow. back in pain. need massage now. send help. or masseuse.

triumph

I finished!!!!!

w00t.

sending it off to shlomo for editingness. shall i sleep or shall i just stay awake?