Tisha B'av

Yesterday was Tisha B'av, and I think it was the first or second time I was able to survive a fast day without drinking any water. Usually I dehydrate and need a bit of H20, or back in my Reform days I would drink if I was reading Torah and eat cough drops. This time I didn't even take medicine! I am so ubershtark [except for when I accidentally sat in a chair while davening and washed my hands...no one is perfect!]

So Right before the fast started I remembered the no leather shoes thing. So I checked to see if my shoes were leather, and alas! Both pairs of sneakers I had with me were leather. I assumed my boots were also leather and I knew my naots were leather [mmm...naots...]. So in essence, I was screwed.

So I looked around, and found my beautiful furry leopard print slippers. Yes. You heard me right. Furry Leopard Print Slippers. Now of course wearing these would not be in the spirit of mourning that is the essence of Tisha B'av. So, havig a few minutes before the fast really started, I frantically called Rabbi Seif, whose number I happen to have and who happens to be in Yerushalayim.

He said the slippers were fine, but I felt really weird about walking around the Holy City in leopard print on our most tragic day of the year. So I switched between going barefoot and wearing the slippers.

Amy Olsen [who is actually a family friend but I didn't know that until my parents e-mailed me. She has also been my chevruta for these past 3weeks] read eicha, which was really beautiful. I didn't realize how well she could sing. It was definitely the best chanting of Jewish texts I had ever heard.

Of course, yesterday morning I realized that my boots weren't leather, so I wore them all day. Which was good because I think I injured my foot a bit on Monday night. It's still a bit uncomfortable.

I sat around reading all afternoon when I got home from Pardes at 2:40. I broke the fast with Kate, Lawee, and Rachel Fried. We had meat [even though we should have waited until today, but it was soooooo good!] Then we hung out for a bit and I bowed out at like 10:15ish because I was tired and didn't feel like going bowling. I would have thrown myself down the lane.

 

Descending in Peace [from the Orchard we know as Pardes]

Today was my last day of classes at Pardes. I'm sad to be leaving Israel and my study of Torah. Now that I know this is what I want to do 4 years at Penn seems kind of pointless. Not that a Penn degree has no value, because obviously that isn't true. But I want to learn more Mishnah, more Gemara, more Tanakh, more Rashi...the kind of stuff I eventually want to teach. Yes, Jewish history is valuable and it's good to see the secular angles of it. But I've grown up with that. We learned Tanakh as a history book when we were in Jewish History with Uri last year. Granted, there's always more to learn, but I feel like my gaps of knowledge are far greater in the texts themselves than in the History surrounding their creation. Like I can tell you when the temples were destroyed, when the Mishnah was codified, when the sanhedrin was dissolved...but if you ask me what's in Masechet Sanhedrin, I can only really tell you about Perek 8. and only the end of it at that. And minus a few paragraphs that we skipped.

So I guess the moral of the story is that there's no way I can ever learn enough, which Is fine because it guarantees I can spend my life learning, but at the same time it's frustrating How much do I have to know to become a teacher. Do people actually know the entire Gemara, including the commentaries? [Even if we limit commentaries to just Rashi and Tosafot?] If only I had the skill to pick up a Gemara myself and just learn. Instead, I have to search out people as crazy as I am- who would give up time they could easily spend chatting in Hillel or surfing the net or sleeping to study Gemara. Who does that?

I don't want to leave. But at the same time I'm anxious to get back to my friends, friends who I cannot exist without. As much as Pardes is an intellectual paradise if you take the right classes, it's not a place you can stay in forever. I don't think I can last hat much longer without being with my friends. I do have friends here and I do care about them, but I'm not as close with them as I am with people back home. That's why even my first Shabbat I'm already having Becky and Deena and possibly Katie over. That's why I'm volunteering for move-in so I can get on campus a week early and chill with Gwen and Josh and Joey and whoever else is back in Northodox.

*edits* So I've just been informed that Ari is going to get to Penn before everyone else. Ari r0x0rz, and yay for seeing him again!

So in short- I love you guys. A lot. Here's a big giant shomer cyber hug for you!