theyellowhobbit

Today was my last day of classes at Pardes. I'm sad to be leaving Israel and my study of Torah. Now that I know this is what I want to do 4 years at Penn seems kind of pointless. Not that a Penn degree has no value, because obviously that isn't true. But I want to learn more Mishnah, more Gemara, more Tanakh, more Rashi...the kind of stuff I eventually want to teach. Yes, Jewish history is valuable and it's good to see the secular angles of it. But I've grown up with that. We learned Tanakh as a history book when we were in Jewish History with Uri last year. Granted, there's always more to learn, but I feel like my gaps of knowledge are far greater in the texts themselves than in the History surrounding their creation. Like I can tell you when the temples were destroyed, when the Mishnah was codified, when the sanhedrin was dissolved...but if you ask me what's in Masechet Sanhedrin, I can only really tell you about Perek 8. and only the end of it at that. And minus a few paragraphs that we skipped.

So I guess the moral of the story is that there's no way I can ever learn enough, which Is fine because it guarantees I can spend my life learning, but at the same time it's frustrating How much do I have to know to become a teacher. Do people actually know the entire Gemara, including the commentaries? [Even if we limit commentaries to just Rashi and Tosafot?] If only I had the skill to pick up a Gemara myself and just learn. Instead, I have to search out people as crazy as I am- who would give up time they could easily spend chatting in Hillel or surfing the net or sleeping to study Gemara. Who does that?

I don't want to leave. But at the same time I'm anxious to get back to my friends, friends who I cannot exist without. As much as Pardes is an intellectual paradise if you take the right classes, it's not a place you can stay in forever. I don't think I can last hat much longer without being with my friends. I do have friends here and I do care about them, but I'm not as close with them as I am with people back home. That's why even my first Shabbat I'm already having Becky and Deena and possibly Katie over. That's why I'm volunteering for move-in so I can get on campus a week early and chill with Gwen and Josh and Joey and whoever else is back in Northodox.

*edits* So I've just been informed that Ari is going to get to Penn before everyone else. Ari r0x0rz, and yay for seeing him again!

So in short- I love you guys. A lot. Here's a big giant shomer cyber hug for you!