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theyellowhobbitTuesday afternoon I was in the beit midrash, and during chevruta, things seemed off. I thought maybe it was something with the text, but then I got really antsy and anxious, and even when we were back in class, the feeling wouldn't go away. I couldn't figure out why.
After class, Ilana attempted to show Ariel and Josh how to make kippahs, and after she left I was helping them out [while waiting for my challah]. I was very anxious to get home for some reason, and once I was home, I felt no better. I decided to IM Ari and have dinner.
Well, the internet stopped working and I couldn't talk to Ari. I didn't feel like being alone in the house so I decided to get groceries. Though first I'd get coffee to make me feel better.
That didn't quite work, so I walked down to Dassi's [forgetting about groceries.] None of the numbers in my phone are marked, but I could figure out which one was hers. I called her, and Atara answered. I ended up going with Atara, Dassi, and Andrew Joseph to meet Megan Goldman and a bunch of her Hebrew U friends for her birthday.
It was fun, but all the while I was still panicky. Even after getting sleep.
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Wednesday was the last day of Pardes. I decided that I wouldn't go on the Spiritual Retreat. Part of that is because I'm not so much into the soul stuff, and partially because I needed a week off. I'm going to stay at Kibbutz Yahel for a few days [I'm there now] and then I'm going to go visiting other places in Israel [for then most part, I've only been in Jerusalem this trip.] After having not been able to find a relacement pair of the earrings I lost 2 years ago, I'm going to go back to the open market craft fair in Tel-aviv. I haven't been there since my 2000 trip.
Anyways, after class wednesday I hung out with Yona and Sara, and I was still panicky. We figured out plans for Ein Gedi on Thursday.
When I got home, I had dinner, and went to bed early, a. because I was getting up at 5, and b. because I was really really tired.
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Yesterday Yona, Sara, Alan, and I hiked Ein Gedi. We did nachal David, and hiked beyond that to Shulamit's Spring and the chokolyte temple. Sara thought that maybe my fear of declining had to do with my balance. She thought that I actually had normal balance, but I wasn't confident about it because if I ever got off balance, it would be harder for me to regain it, especially if I had to put out my left arm for leverage. She might be right.
Yet I didn't feel the panic while hiking, it only came back afterwards. Which is weird because I'm safer when I'm not hiking.
Then I took the bus to Lori's, and was really tired. I'm staying in one of the tourist rooms on the kibbutz, and not in Lori's house, because the dog, Misty, is pregnant, and needs her own room for the next week or so.
Dinner was really good, with a lot of meat. The kitchen is still dirty, but I can't clean it, because Drew is supposed to do it. So I have to wait to make challah...I guess that just means more time to watch tv and not do anything.
After class, Ilana attempted to show Ariel and Josh how to make kippahs, and after she left I was helping them out [while waiting for my challah]. I was very anxious to get home for some reason, and once I was home, I felt no better. I decided to IM Ari and have dinner.
Well, the internet stopped working and I couldn't talk to Ari. I didn't feel like being alone in the house so I decided to get groceries. Though first I'd get coffee to make me feel better.
That didn't quite work, so I walked down to Dassi's [forgetting about groceries.] None of the numbers in my phone are marked, but I could figure out which one was hers. I called her, and Atara answered. I ended up going with Atara, Dassi, and Andrew Joseph to meet Megan Goldman and a bunch of her Hebrew U friends for her birthday.
It was fun, but all the while I was still panicky. Even after getting sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wednesday was the last day of Pardes. I decided that I wouldn't go on the Spiritual Retreat. Part of that is because I'm not so much into the soul stuff, and partially because I needed a week off. I'm going to stay at Kibbutz Yahel for a few days [I'm there now] and then I'm going to go visiting other places in Israel [for then most part, I've only been in Jerusalem this trip.] After having not been able to find a relacement pair of the earrings I lost 2 years ago, I'm going to go back to the open market craft fair in Tel-aviv. I haven't been there since my 2000 trip.
Anyways, after class wednesday I hung out with Yona and Sara, and I was still panicky. We figured out plans for Ein Gedi on Thursday.
When I got home, I had dinner, and went to bed early, a. because I was getting up at 5, and b. because I was really really tired.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yesterday Yona, Sara, Alan, and I hiked Ein Gedi. We did nachal David, and hiked beyond that to Shulamit's Spring and the chokolyte temple. Sara thought that maybe my fear of declining had to do with my balance. She thought that I actually had normal balance, but I wasn't confident about it because if I ever got off balance, it would be harder for me to regain it, especially if I had to put out my left arm for leverage. She might be right.
Yet I didn't feel the panic while hiking, it only came back afterwards. Which is weird because I'm safer when I'm not hiking.
Then I took the bus to Lori's, and was really tired. I'm staying in one of the tourist rooms on the kibbutz, and not in Lori's house, because the dog, Misty, is pregnant, and needs her own room for the next week or so.
Dinner was really good, with a lot of meat. The kitchen is still dirty, but I can't clean it, because Drew is supposed to do it. So I have to wait to make challah...I guess that just means more time to watch tv and not do anything.
