You know you're in NFTY-NE when...

[theyellowhobbit]

...you know all the verses to "10 Constipated Men in the Bible."

Chorus:
There are 10, 10 constipated men in the bible (where?) in the bible (oh!)
There are 10, 10 constipated men in the B-I-B-L-E

1. Oh the first, first constipated man was Cain; he wasn’t Able. (all are 2x)
2. Oh the second, second constipated man was Noah; he had an ark full.
3. Oh the third, third constipated man was Jonah; he had a whale of a time.
4. Oh the fourth, fourth constipated man was Pharaoh; he wouldn’t let ‘em go.
5. Oh the fifth, fifth constipated man was Moses; he took 2 tablets.
6. Oh the sixth, sixth constipated man was Nachshon; he was up to his neck.
7. Oh the seventh, seventh constipated man was Balaam; he couldn’t move his ass.
8. Oh the eighth, eighth constipated man was Samson; he brought the house down.
9. Oh the ninth, ninth constipated man was Solomon; he sat for 40 years.
10. Oh the tenth, tenth constipated man was David; he fought a giant


This song came up in a conversation with levana_b. I hadn't thought about the song in years, and now all these NFTY memories are flooding my mind.

There was a night where me, firelizard736, and another friend A. stayed up late into the night writing parodies. (twopoints, were you a part of this as well?)


The parody we wrote of "10 men" was the 10 incestuous couples in the Bible. Though not all of them were couples, and not all were in the Bible (the last one was NFTY- we're one big family).
We also did something to the tune of "Yachad," and to a tune of "Tumbalalaikah" that Noam Katz had recently wrote and taught us.
And then A. told us the story about how she had hooked up with a guy who was a really bad kisser, and we wrote a song to the tune of "House at Pooh Corner." I still remember the chorus:

So help me if you can someone's got to teach
[Said guy] how to make out
You'd be surprised beyond a doubt
How little he really knows
Somebody needs some hos
Someone should teach him or he'll never make out again.

Now that I look at it, it probably wasn't the nicest song in the world, but it's not like we sang it for anyone or told him about it. I think it was just a product of our all-nighter and died with the incest songs.


I just finished the presentation, which is why I'm rewarding myself with this entry. It's amusing to write, so I think I'll go back and read it whenever I'm in a bad mood. Now off to do historical archaeology homework!