Midrash?

[theyellowhobbit]

And it came to pass, when hobbits were put on the earth that the sons of God saw the daughters of hobbit that they were fair; and they took them wives, whomsoever they chose. The Nephilim were in the earth in those days, and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of hobbit, and they bore children to them, they always were female. No one could really explain this phenomena...

These are the generations of Noah.
Noah was in his generations an Engineer righteous and whole-hearted; Noah walked with God. And Noah begot three sons, Shem-a physicist, Ham-an engineer like his father, and Japheth- a poet.

And the earth was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence. And God saw the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted their way upon the earth. God saw that the engineers had taken too much control of the earth, and so He sought to destroy them, save Noah and his sons.

And God said unto Noah: The end of all flesh is come before Me; for the earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will destroy them with the earth. Make thee an ark...

And of every living thing of all flesh, two of every sort shalt thou bring into the ark, to keep them alive with thee; they shall be male and female. (Except for hobbits, since there were at that time, still no male hobbits. So they took 2 female hobbits, wondering why God commanded them thus. After all, He never told them to get the unicorns. The names of the hobbits were Cynara and Rachel [because in those days everyone named their daghter Rachel]) Thus did Noah; according to all that God commanded him, so did he.

Then God caused the heavens to open, and a great rain to pour upon the land, for 40 days...And eventually, a really long time after, the waters subsided and there was dry land, and everyone could get off the boat.

Noah planted a vinyard. And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent. And Ham, Engineer, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without. And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and they saw not their father's nakedness. And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his youngest son had done unto him. And he said: Cursed be Canaan, and Cursed be Engineers (since after all Noah was now a farmer. He could say that); a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren. And he said: Blessed be the LORD, the God of Shem; and let Canaan be their servant. God enlarge Japheth, and he shall dwell in the tents of Shem (since how could a poet afford a tent of his own?); and let Canaan be their servant.

Japhtheh the poet married Cynara, and Shem, the physicist married Rachel. And surprisingly, all of their children were hobbits! And there were both male and female hobbits! [One peculiarity of male hobbits is that sometimes they end up growing really tall if they are not fed enough of a rare substance known as caffeine. This is a sad condition, but not as sad as a hobbit become vegetarian...]

The engineers ended up serving the hobbits, and they do to this day.

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Boo.


We are the unwilling, led by the unknowing, doing the impossible, for the ungrateful. And we have done so much, with so little, for so long, that now we are qualified to do anything with nothing