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Dear Professor Ruderman and Andrew Berns,

I should get an A in your class for figuring out how to e-mail you without e-mailing the entire class.
~One of the few intelligent people in the class.

Dear Tamar Ross,
You have wonderful opinions, but why can't your book be easier to read. Write more like Rachel Adler.
~An annoyed reader

Dear Rachel Adler,
Can you please write my paper? I'm sure youd do a much better job than Tamar Ross, even if I agree with her more.
~The weird girl who has your name.

Dear Self,
Why do you have ADD? Go back to reading Tamar Ross.
~Me

Dear Acapella Mario Theme,
Please get out of my head, right now.
~Someone who has watched her brother play too much Super Mario Sunshine.

Dear Professors and TAs,

PLEASE READ AND REPLY TO YOUR FREAKING E-MAILS! Is it so hard to send one saying "Dear Rachel, you got a[n] ___ on the final. Your overall grade is ___."? Or "Dear Rachel, Your final was devoured fangoriously. Until we kill the giant sand-worm that ate it, I'm afraid we cannot give you a grade."? That's all I ask.

~A Rachel who is anxious about her Envs grade


I got a B in the class. Considering I would have been ok with a C, that's pretty good. My GPA isn't as pretty, but that should be fixed when my Anth and spirit & law grades go on the transcript

Dear Newsgroup,
Why did you die?
~TYH

Dear Mittens,
Please let me write my paper. Just because I'm here doesn't mean that I need to spend 100% of my time with you. Go take a nap on my electric blanket.
~The girl who feeds you.
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